Oxygen
Posted on Mar 6th, 2007
by 
Seth
Seth
I went to 7-11 late last night to get myself a pack of cigarettes and while I was waiting for the guy behind the counter to ring them up, I noticed a strange thing. A canister labeled "POD." POD, it seems, stands for Personal Oxygen Device. The idea, I guess, is to use as follows:
1. Remove clear cap.
2. Put mouth in black cup on top of the pod.
3. Twist wheel with thumb while inhaling deeply.
4. Repeat as desired.
The guy behind the counter, living up to my usual standards for 7-11 employees, was
astute enough to say "Helluva lot cheaper just to grow a plant." The POD was twenty bucks. True dat, brothuh.
I don't understand this oxygen mini-fad. There's an oxygen bar across the street from my favorite coffee shop. It never seems to have much business. No surprise, too. You pay a bunch of money and feel a little relaxed.
When I was at the 7-11, all that oxygen reminded me of something else. Apollo 1. The cockpit (or whatever they call it) in Apollo 1 was filled with 100% oxygen. This had two advantages. First, it meant that air didn't have to recirculate and get re-oxygenated much. Second, it helped the astronauts get a little more relaxed for their blast-off into space in a rocket. There was, however, the one downside, and it's a whopper. Oxygen's flammable. There was a little spark in the cockpit prior to take-off and the whole damn thing went up in flames. They were smart enough to ensure that the door was virtually impossible to open from the inside, too, so the astronauts not only got the pleasure of burning to death, but also though they could get out and were, well, wrong. Actually, as I recall (and I might be wrong), the only circumstance during which it was particularly difficult to exit was if there were a fire in the cockpit. Bummer.
Anyway, not only do these two events (7-11 and Apollo 1) have the oxygen thing in common; there's something else as well. They're both mistakes. They're both a little bit stupid. I think I might start a methane bar. That'll fuck you up and no mistake. And all I have to do is eat a lot of beans and never worry about supply. Seriously, if you want to relax, yes, take deep breaths. There is no reason that those breaths need be 100% Oh-Deuce. 90% of why people feel nice as a result of the oxygen is the depth of the breath. Meditate. It'll get you places a little can of air can't.
And grow a lot of plants. Shitloads of them. Can never have enough. And, as the 7-11 dude knows, they're a lot cheaper than a canister of oxygen.
In looking for a photo to accompany this, by the way, I came across this website. It'll probably inform as to the nature of the oxygen-in-a-can phenomenon better than I ever could.
1. Remove clear cap.
2. Put mouth in black cup on top of the pod.
3. Twist wheel with thumb while inhaling deeply.
4. Repeat as desired.
The guy behind the counter, living up to my usual standards for 7-11 employees, was
I don't understand this oxygen mini-fad. There's an oxygen bar across the street from my favorite coffee shop. It never seems to have much business. No surprise, too. You pay a bunch of money and feel a little relaxed.
When I was at the 7-11, all that oxygen reminded me of something else. Apollo 1. The cockpit (or whatever they call it) in Apollo 1 was filled with 100% oxygen. This had two advantages. First, it meant that air didn't have to recirculate and get re-oxygenated much. Second, it helped the astronauts get a little more relaxed for their blast-off into space in a rocket. There was, however, the one downside, and it's a whopper. Oxygen's flammable. There was a little spark in the cockpit prior to take-off and the whole damn thing went up in flames. They were smart enough to ensure that the door was virtually impossible to open from the inside, too, so the astronauts not only got the pleasure of burning to death, but also though they could get out and were, well, wrong. Actually, as I recall (and I might be wrong), the only circumstance during which it was particularly difficult to exit was if there were a fire in the cockpit. Bummer.
Anyway, not only do these two events (7-11 and Apollo 1) have the oxygen thing in common; there's something else as well. They're both mistakes. They're both a little bit stupid. I think I might start a methane bar. That'll fuck you up and no mistake. And all I have to do is eat a lot of beans and never worry about supply. Seriously, if you want to relax, yes, take deep breaths. There is no reason that those breaths need be 100% Oh-Deuce. 90% of why people feel nice as a result of the oxygen is the depth of the breath. Meditate. It'll get you places a little can of air can't.
And grow a lot of plants. Shitloads of them. Can never have enough. And, as the 7-11 dude knows, they're a lot cheaper than a canister of oxygen.
In looking for a photo to accompany this, by the way, I came across this website. It'll probably inform as to the nature of the oxygen-in-a-can phenomenon better than I ever could.
Access: Public
7-11
March 2008 
Wow. I wasn't sure you were serious at first. Then again, we sell bottled water; why not bottled air?
I think I'm going to launch a line of 'Nothing.'
Nothing. Experience the void.
Nothing. For the person who has everything.
Nothing. When life gets to be too much.
I'm not sure how I'd package it, but I can assure you it'll be quite expensive.
Tack on a high enough price and you can sell anything. Look at diamonds.
You are the target market for Canned air, It will offset the hypoxia are inducing with the smoking.
If their target market if givin' 'em shit, they got troubles.
Seth,
Not to be too blunt, but “not only do these two events (7-11 and Apollo 1) have the oxygen thing in common; there's something else as well. They're both mistakes.” As Casey implies, you're there to buy cigarettes to feed an addiction. Probably the third mistake in that equation!! I can't tell you how many smokers end up hooked up to a bottle of oxygen at the end of things.
there is no nice way to say it - stop that shit befor you are tempted by the “POD'”cause you really need it
love your lungs,
tom
Yeah dude, fuckin' quit with the smoking! At least the oxygen won't kill you, it might actually be a better buy despite all your scoffing. ( :
I do love my lungs and they are making the independent choice to inhale smoke. I feel they're making a mistake, but I love them too much to deny them that which brings them so much joy. What should I do?
Seth, the logic in that argument makes me feel embarassed for you the way I feel embarassed for all of Ben Stiller's characters. If your lungs were making the choice they'd spend the money just to give you a reason to breathe oxygen instead of slow and disgusting death.
Because my comments certainly weren't meant in any sort of jest. Of course smoking's bad for me. But I'm good for smoking, and as long as smoking needs me, well, I don't see what choice I have but to stay with it. I can't abandon one who loves me so much just because of a little abuse, and it is only a little really. He only hit me the once.
At least I don't use humor and sarcasm as a defense mechanism to minimalize the seriousness with which I take my habit, a habit that I realize is killing me (and even if it weren't, still results in me having a lot of fucking phlegm… gross). That would just be stupid.